All I ever wanted.

The only thing in life I have ever known I wanted to do was be a mother. I cannot even remember my life before she came along. I think that is because from the very second I knew I was having a baby my life actually began. 

I remember it like it was yesterday. I thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I even said to my mother, "she is so pretty." I kept saying it like no one heard me and it was all I could say. About 30 hours after entering the hospital, 2 jacuzzi baths, walking around the birthing floor of the hospital, two epidurals, some Stadol (and flying pink and blue elephants in the room - I totally remember this), this magical person appeared at 12:21 am at 8 pounds and 10 ounces. I am just a mere few hours away from the 5 year anniversary of the event. I cannot even believe it. I wondered what she would look like, what her first words would be, and how I would have enough days to let her wear all those adorable clothes hanging in her closet?

Now, I find myslef thinking I thought I knew what love was then. But, Geez Louise! Now, it is even better. The first time she said "Uh Oh", and "Mama", and grabbed my finger, threw her paci on the floor, and stood up in her crib, and sat up on her own, and smiled, and laughed...I just kept falling for her. I remember being so tired in college, and all I needed was to go to sleep. And then she would cry, I would open the door to her room, and she'd be standing up in her crib smiling. She had only been walking for about a week when she broke her leg. I was devastated but she taught herself to walk in a cast with her leg bent. She is so determined! And she knows how to pull you in!

I loved how she would take a bottle and fall asleep on me at night. I miss those days....kinda. I would lay her in her crib, pray over her, pray to God to keep us safe in our journey together. And it has been a journey. But she was my lifesaver, my "turn-around-God-wake-me-up-finally moment". She was what pushed me through college, and pushed me to make a better life for myslef and for her. The second I laid eyes on her I was changed forever. And so has anyone else that has ever met her. She tends to take up all the space in the room, to demand your attention, to devour your senses. She is dominant, brave, matter-of-fact, assertive, sassy, and sensitive all at the same time.....and the sweetest thing you have ever met in your life! She has such love for life and people. She has taught me about selflessness and discipline, and determination, and suffering. She has taught me love, and fear, and joy just by breathing.

To GA: 

I love that dashing blond hair and big blue eyes, sweet little hands and feet, and that precious little voice. Even though you say Mama like 100 times a day now!  I love that every night when I say, "what's your favorite thing you did today?" , you always say, "being with you" - even if I only saw you for 30 minutes all day! I am so glad that you didn't mind me photographing every little millisecond of your life the first years, and that you are so photogenic. Oh, where do you get that from??? I love that we both love nite nites and we love to watch movies, cuddle, and sometimes take naps together. I wish that I had a video of you every day. You are so funny. you have a quick wit about you. you are smart. and sassy. and you know it.... and absolutely the best kiss ever!!! You are the best face to wake up to. I love how when you wake up, you always stretch your body with your eyes closed, and then let out a big sigh. You have done that since you were born. You still do it. And every day I see you do that, it takes me back to that night at 12:21am when you captured my heart and my life. Georgia Anne, these have been the best 5 years of my life.

Love, Mama!

A recap of the best:

 

Mama Loves You Sweet Girl!