All I ever wanted.

The only thing in life I have ever known I wanted to do was be a mother. I cannot even remember my life before she came along. I think that is because from the very second I knew I was having a baby my life actually began. 

I remember it like it was yesterday. I thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I even said to my mother, "she is so pretty." I kept saying it like no one heard me and it was all I could say. About 30 hours after entering the hospital, 2 jacuzzi baths, walking around the birthing floor of the hospital, two epidurals, some Stadol (and flying pink and blue elephants in the room - I totally remember this), this magical person appeared at 12:21 am at 8 pounds and 10 ounces. I am just a mere few hours away from the 5 year anniversary of the event. I cannot even believe it. I wondered what she would look like, what her first words would be, and how I would have enough days to let her wear all those adorable clothes hanging in her closet?

Now, I find myslef thinking I thought I knew what love was then. But, Geez Louise! Now, it is even better. The first time she said "Uh Oh", and "Mama", and grabbed my finger, threw her paci on the floor, and stood up in her crib, and sat up on her own, and smiled, and laughed...I just kept falling for her. I remember being so tired in college, and all I needed was to go to sleep. And then she would cry, I would open the door to her room, and she'd be standing up in her crib smiling. She had only been walking for about a week when she broke her leg. I was devastated but she taught herself to walk in a cast with her leg bent. She is so determined! And she knows how to pull you in!

I loved how she would take a bottle and fall asleep on me at night. I miss those days....kinda. I would lay her in her crib, pray over her, pray to God to keep us safe in our journey together. And it has been a journey. But she was my lifesaver, my "turn-around-God-wake-me-up-finally moment". She was what pushed me through college, and pushed me to make a better life for myslef and for her. The second I laid eyes on her I was changed forever. And so has anyone else that has ever met her. She tends to take up all the space in the room, to demand your attention, to devour your senses. She is dominant, brave, matter-of-fact, assertive, sassy, and sensitive all at the same time.....and the sweetest thing you have ever met in your life! She has such love for life and people. She has taught me about selflessness and discipline, and determination, and suffering. She has taught me love, and fear, and joy just by breathing.

To GA: 

I love that dashing blond hair and big blue eyes, sweet little hands and feet, and that precious little voice. Even though you say Mama like 100 times a day now!  I love that every night when I say, "what's your favorite thing you did today?" , you always say, "being with you" - even if I only saw you for 30 minutes all day! I am so glad that you didn't mind me photographing every little millisecond of your life the first years, and that you are so photogenic. Oh, where do you get that from??? I love that we both love nite nites and we love to watch movies, cuddle, and sometimes take naps together. I wish that I had a video of you every day. You are so funny. you have a quick wit about you. you are smart. and sassy. and you know it.... and absolutely the best kiss ever!!! You are the best face to wake up to. I love how when you wake up, you always stretch your body with your eyes closed, and then let out a big sigh. You have done that since you were born. You still do it. And every day I see you do that, it takes me back to that night at 12:21am when you captured my heart and my life. Georgia Anne, these have been the best 5 years of my life.

Love, Mama!

A recap of the best:

 

Mama Loves You Sweet Girl! 

Just Because - It's Me, and It's You

 I haven't blogged in so long that I had to log-in to my Blogger account and then I got the password wrong. That was major. I gotta get it all out.

I have just been busy as a bee here lately, juggling life, family, and all the every day things that come along with it. I have boycotted my blog for the simple fact that I had to say NO to something. It's almost like I'm mad at my blog site. I love it and I crave it, but don't have time for it. Talk about resentment. Kinda how I feel about Diet Coke. I love it, and count on it every morning.... and then I feel bad for drinking it. It is just so DANG delicious.

So, most of this will be in list form and I'm gonna try to make it short cause there are some 500 thread counts calling my name....

When I can't write about my life I am making mental notes about everything I should write about. Then I don't have time. But, then something compels me to just get started and then I can breathe a sigh of relief  that my thoughts, feelings, and favorite things are finally in print again for me to share. So here goes my list of updates, thoughts, and favorite things:

SOUL MATES: The reason I was compelled to write tonight is because I just got off the phone with one of my absolute favorite, most special people in the whole world. I felt like I shouldn't even call her back tonight cause I have been in such funk here lately and maybe I should wait until a happier day. And just hearing her voice, unveiling our lives, venting, laughing, psychoanalyzing our husbands and children and just flat out being ourselves I returned to a state of joy. 

BFF's: There is a reason that God created women in such a magical way. Thank the Lord that I have so many girls in my life that I consider my closest, my BFF's, or something even closer than sisters could be. I love my husband, and God knows I do.. But there is just something about your girl BFFs that your husband just cannot be. Well, mainly because then we could have no discussion of such husbands and unfortunate mishaps. And then we couldn't laugh, and swear, and figure out how we were going to do it different next time, or trick them into doing it again. If we didn't have girlfriends, we couldn't vent about things. Like how we are secretly hoping that men will learn how that toilet paper roll actually works on the holder, and how the seat goes up AND down, or what spatulas are, or that towels go on the rack and not over the shower curtain, or why doesn't he just go to bed instead of laying all over the couch while I'm trying to watch my show? Just go to bed already......!!!!!

All I know is that when I'm with these girls, I breathe them in like fresh oxygen while I can and just hope that the feelings of laughter, and stories shared, and hugs, and tears, and being who we are will not fade fast. That they will carry me through to the days of our next crossing path.

It is you.....that I'm talking to... 

- It's You that texts me pictures of your boots and tights together - for advice,  you who never passes judgment, you who loved me and helped me even when I wasn't being realistic. You who are creative, and resourceful, and inventive. You make my day just by texting me pictures of your boots...I mean after all.... you are Shug in boots :) 

- And It's also you- and how we talk about our babies and how we live too far apart, and how we want to see each other so bad but then just take our usual nap after we relinquish all the secrets and drama of our lives. It's you that makes my creativity unveil, or give me the opportunity to tell you things I know about.  It's you who built our friendship from complete honesty from the very beginning and it has changed my life. It's you that understands who I am (because you are so much of the same). And we look alike. And everyone thinks we are sisters. BoNuS!

It's you- who comes in so handy with your family's vacation home so we can escape reality, play loud music, go walking, take dangerous boating adventures, and sleep in. We can also stalk people on Facebook from a safe distance, watch movies or SATC reruns. We can tell our secrets, be honest, and give each other complete truth. We can learn from each other. We can talk about God's word and what it means to us. It's you that prepared me for life's challenges when our friendship had only first begun. It's you who has an amazing life story to tell.

- It's you that loves to cook, and travel, and teach, and run (and do it all well) 

- it's you who can bake, do some major hair styles, and who loves the beach

- it's you who is a down-home girl with more sisters than I would ever want, and who is so perfectly sweet, and best of all - a lover of all things WOLFPACK! 

- it's you who is my sister in Christ, who is walking along side me and does not judge me. You are what I prayed for when I moved home. We can be honest and laugh about it. I am so thankful that you have come into my life. 

See how blessed I am? I find it hard to split my free time these days. AND there are so many more people that I could list who are so influential in my life. Lately, even the little things make a big difference in my life. I am truly thankful for the steps I've taken in this life to get me this far. I'm looking forward to a blessed weekend with family and friends. 

It's my Mama's Birthday and I can't wait to give her a special surprise! 

XOXO 

Thanks Phil

Is it weird that I always send my Daddy a card on Groundhog's day? It's his favorite holiday of the whole year. I think it's because his name is Phil too. For real. And he's a woods man, and he LOVES animals and trees and things. He actually just called to tell me Happy Groundhogs Day as I was typing this. Friday night he plans to celebrate this with the grandchildren and all kinds of groundhog-ish activities. I love my life.

So it looks like we have 6 more weeks of winter on the way according to 

Punxsutawney Phil 

 Grrrrrrr.... you little varmint you. 

 I am so ready for spring and summer. 

And tan lines and beach time. 

And gardening things.

And playing outside. 

And cookouts and get-togethers. 

And buttercups.

And lightning bugs. 

And riding with the windows down. 

Happy Groundhogs Day! 

Love,

Me and Papa Phil

STEWpendous!

If you have lived in Roxboro or any surrounding counties, you at some point in your life have probably eaten some Brunswick Stew. And people are down right serious about how it is done. If you are from up North (ya'll do it different I hear), or just moved here, I am so sorry. You just may not understand. 

Churches around here are famous for stews and the absolute best in the county is hands down, Mt. Zion!!!!! Seriously, it is perfectly proportioned for all ingredients and it just makes my mouth water thinking about it. Whenever, we get stew from Mt. Zion UMC in Hurdle Mills, I won't eat anything that day until we go pick it up. I like to work myself up for it. BUT, I missed the boat last time they made one and I forgot to go pick it up. BIG MISTAKE!
 Even though Mt. Zion UMC is my favorite, it is also perfectly acceptable to consume some Austin family stew. Just another perk to marrying my hubby (most of them can cook!)

Having "a stew" or "doing a stew" or "cooking a stew" can be tradition in some families or simply a good time of friends and fellowship. Once the word gets out, you will have some visitors when it's ready to eat!
 

So, right now the Austin houses are plum out of this famous winter staple. So, what better weekend than to cook a stew? It was cold, wet, and down-right STEWpendous weather for breaking out the stew pot. 

I consider myself a connoisseur of such stew concoctions and I am here to tell about it. I LOVE sugar in mine...and salt and extra black pepper. Pair it up with a grilled cheese or saltine crackers and you have got one banging good meal. It's perfect to pull out for last-minute company and even better for cold, rainy days! This weekend was super-fun-filled with plenty of In-laws, hearty ingredients, and kissing on babies. What could be better than family togetherness time and a bowl of hot steamy stew????  Not much.  

Here is my photographic journal of how it went down:

The In-Laws - makin' the magic happen!

GA - overseeing the operations

The stew pot: This pot actually belonged to Sean's great grandfather who purchased the stew pot for 50 cent off a train wrecked railroad car. It had a 6 inch crack in it due to the train wreck in which his grandfather repaired. Now, we cook a stew in it every year!

My daddy even came over to help stir.

GA did it the best! Such a good helper! 

Here are a couple other photos from the weekend that I love!

I can't believe my girl is getting so big and absolutely beautiful!

If you want to make a stew, here is my favorite recipe! (differs slightly from the one we just cooked) -

What you need: 

#40 size pot (approx. 30 gallons)

8 lb. choice stew beef (cook in lots of water and save the broth)

3 Large hens (save broth, debone, & throw away skins)

10 lbs. potatoes diced

1 gallon white corn (straight from the garden is best!) 

9 lbs. onions, diced

1 gal. frozen or canned green lima beans

4 lb. dried baby lima beans (soaked and cooked)

6 gal. tomatoes (we used crushed and 1 can paste)

6 lb. margarine

3 lb. sugar

black pepper and salt, to taste

4 red pepper pods

- Begin with frozen lima beans and potatoes in chicken and beef broth. Cook in black pot until done. Add chopped onions. Cook a few minutes, stirring. Next, add margarine and other ingredients, stirring constantly. After adding corn and dried beans, it will stick easily. If necessary, add additional water at beginning along with broth. Season with sugar, salt, and pepper. 3 hours total cooking.

Get ready for lots of work and some good family togetherness!

My L.o.t. Rox update:

I mainly started blogging last year so that I could whine about all the things that got on my nerves about living in Roxboro.  Blogging was a good try for me because it was FREE and I couldn't really afford a therapist. Trust me, not much has changed - well, except for the fact that I probably still need a therapist. 

Let's discuss...

Here are all the things that I have discovered will always get on my nerves/pet peeves:

1) Wake up phone calls -  some people have learned that you shouldn't wake me up - no matter what the circumstances are. Some people are yet to figure this out.The only person I really let slide is my Mama cause I always love to chat with her in the mornings (and you can't get feisty with yo' Mama even if it is before 8am).

2) the Wal-Mart factor - Seriously...you know that it is impossible to go to the Wal-mart without seeing someone you know. I have quite honestly started skimming the parking lot for cars of those whom I wish NOT to run into. Here is what I have discovered are the best times to go to the Wal-mart to avoid said run-ins:  Tuesday nights after 6:00, Wednesday nights after 7:00 (a lot of people are at church), and Sunday mornings before 9am. You are Welcome :) If you absolutely have to go there, be aware of your surroundings. I pretend not to see people all the time. That is SO bad I know. But some days you just don't feel like 'catching up' while your child plays games on your cell, and people are staring at you like get-out-of-the-way. I hate it when people stop mid-aisle for a reunion. Which always begins with, "how's your Mama?"

3) Why is the frazlin' McDonalds drive-thru line always backed up into the road? I mean how hard should it be for a girl to get a McCafe Caramel Mocha Skinny Latte on demand? I totally miss the Micki-D's at the top of the Hill at the King Bee. And the one in the Wal-Mart does not count....(see # 2) Y'all feel me? ...And speaking of things I miss... remember when Wendy's had a salad / hot bar? DANG I miss those days. This is where I learned of my love for spiral pasta and tomato sauce. AND I miss the Sonic. Who really shops at Rite-Aid anyway??? I am a CVS girl. I would much rather have the Sonic back and hit up a Route 44 Diet Cherry Limeade instead of a Px refill.... Who is with me????

 I know that these things are minor but it would make life more bearable if they could maybe open a Target (to split the Wal-mart crowd and bring on the quality goods), and get another McDonalds, and bring back the Sonic. I am talking quality of life here for the Rox. If you are not from the Rox, be daggone thankful if you can reach a target in a 10-15 mile radius.

BUT, here is what I wouldn't change for nothin' - 

1. Being near my family. (however dysfunctional we may be ;) 

2. Making new friends and growing close to the old ones. I LOVE my Raleigh girls a ton and I MISS them EVERY day, I think of them EVERY day, I PRAY for them still,  but God has blessed me with some extremely wonderful friends since I have moved back home. They make life dreamy and the best part is that they are all my sisters in Christ. Sean handpicked out one for me last year when we were engaged and he said that he thought we would grow to be good friends one day. I told him he was crazy and now I just love her to death. See how God works? And I love me some Sean Austin for encouraging me to do so! I was so frustrated when I first moved home. I couldn't get my hands on my friends enough because they were all so far away. I felt like I was left out of everything here.  Even at some family gatherings, I am sometimes the "outsider" but I have learned that it is OK.  And even some friends BECAME family. God has also blessed me with one incredible friend at church which was an answered prayer for me. Now I find myslef having trouble splitting my time. What a blessing! 

3. Being married to a crazy, funny, handsome, and DRIVE-ME-CRAZY man! I KNOW I drive him twice as crazy! Oh what a year it has almost been. I wouldn't change it for nothin!!!!! We are definitely a unique couple and what we have works for US! We have so much more learnin' to do but we are well on our way. What we have is OURS and nobody can ever take that away. Georgia Anne keeps us laughing all the time. Tonight we all 3 laughed at the table during dinner over something crazy and I thought it was such a cliche but it was just like sitting and watching it in a movie. There we are cracking up at the simplest things, and our life is just revolving around us and we don't even notice. We just roll through our days and take it as it comes. 

So.... all in all, the Rox has sucked me in Y'all. .

Literally, I'm stuck here.

Who could leave all this?

"Oh Snap!" Look what I found...

First of all, I haven't said "Oh, Snap!" in like 8 years at least. Second of all, it was a phrase worthy of being dusted off.

Just look at all the goods I found at Daddy's over the New Years Weekend!  I promised you in this post that I would share. NC Stizzle fans get yo'selves jealous cause boy did Phillip (Daddy) hook a sister up! I was so excited, I had to send immediate 411 to my dearest friend over at Shug in Boots who also LoVeS the Stizzle.


These photos were taken from my new phone which was quite a struggle for me to figure out. Don't judge! 

Now for the Goods: 

Vintage Stizzle playing cards:  

 Check out these Stellar PACK Alums: 

I am so loving the "ACC Champs" - fingers crossed for 2012!

He got game....

"Baller"

I'm loving the plaid sport coat - It is probably red and white ;) Sidney Lowe- eat your heart out shug.

NCSU yearbooks circa 1937, 1938, 1940, 1941 -

 The "Agromeck" - See the Belltower??? - Completely Magical

NCSU Songbook complete with vintage RED records (the complete set of 4)- Anyone have a record player I can borrow?

 

And amongst all of that I found my grandmas "date permit" from her nursing school. Apparently you had to get a permit to go out on a date. I must enforce this when the time comes for GA.  

She was due at 11:00pm. - Notice she didn't return????  Such a rebel.

....See???? I get it honest.......

  There is much more to come but I gots to dive into to daddy's closet. 

I'm hoping for vintage NCSU tee...oh yea!

And may I just say that in the spirit of THE PACK, that the News&Observer FINALLY got something right (and it was laying in our driveway for FREE...they are such a tease...Remember "DEAR TOBY"?????  here is a recap!

Ol' Roy looking some kind of rough? Agreed?

  So long Tarholes! (for this weekend anyway) .... 

There Will be a Day

The chorus of this song is amazing. Be quiet and listen. Sorry I couldn't find a more entertaining video but I am caught up on the words of this song anyway. I am finding comfort in this song right now for so many reasons. I know that we serve an awesome God and he is bigger than anything we can comprehend. But in the midst of knowing that, it is sometimes hard to understand His plan and purpose for our lives. 

It is so hard to accept that what God has in store is not always what we want.  We think it's not fair, we think it's painful, we may even think it is punishment. BUT... God has a plan, a purpose, and a gift inside every move He makes. We all belong to Him... We are all part of His perfect plan...We each have a lesson to learn in Faith.  The largest tragedy can be a testament of Faith within a family, in a closely knit group of friends, or even in a single person reevaluating their faithfulness. How can one have such Faith that they are ready to go and be with the Lord? How can someone praise His name for a life being cut way too short? How can someone praise His name for losing someone we adore? How can someone praise His name for such a loss of friendship, love, laughter, and family? 

The answer is in the song; "There will be a day of no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears." We are promised eternal life that is better than anything we could ever imagine if we trust in Him. So we must do just that. Trust in Him that we may be comforted when we struggle, trust that He has the better plan, trust that we will be changed for good in these situations. Spend every second you have breathing to gain that Faith, to accomplish that mission, to be that kind of man (or woman) that can take shake their fist at cancer and say "I won anyway."  We are not promised tomorrow here on Earth, but we are promised eternity with Him. 

This is the day the LORD has made; 

let us rejoice and be glad in it. 

Psalm 118: 24

The Rox Does Main Street

Ever since I was a little girls I have LOVED the parades. From the days of riding with Smokey when I was younger, to dance studio performance, cheerleading for PHS, and not to forget Jr. Miss, I have always loved being in parades. ESPECIALLY the Christmas parade! In case you have not gotten this by now...I LOVE me some Christmas. Hey, I get it from my mama. 

Well, when GA was born, I made it perfectly clear that she would in fact LOVE parades too. This may quite possibly be my first parenting success documentation. GA LOVES the parades too! 

This year, we didn't just watch..it was her first parade participation (with mommy of course!) - Back on the float with Smokey in more than 15-18 years (trying not to reveal any ages), there I was with my baby; handing out candy, waving, freezing, and getting my Christmas spirit on. I really thought that I would miss watching the parade and seeing GA's excitement. HOWEVER, participating is so much better!

She thought it was soooooo cool to throw candy out to her friends (while she ate her weight in it too), and to wave at complete strangers.   Pageant material?????   I think yes.

Stellar waving skills lesson in progress....

I so enjoyed spending that time with her. All of Roxboro was out. The largest crowds I've seen in years. EVERYONE was happy....smiles all around (and a few Pall Mall's here and there and koozies with beverage cans of a questionable nature.) 

Much to my disappointment we did not make the front page of the Courier Times in the parade section. Oh well , there is always next year! Here is a somewhat lengthy recap in parade photography anyway :) - You gotta see what it is really like here On the Rox - 

We let our children get dirty - 

 

Future construction worker or pageant professional?

 We <3 Bojangles and friends from back-in-the-day.

lovely ladies from Jaycee's - and longtime friends of mine from PHS and middle school!

Some people abandon their horse drawn carriages to socialize-

We support our parents!

 

We force our children to smile for numerous photos.

Kayla & Kelbie with GA

 We love our babies!

We will ride anything with wheels in order to be in the parade....

This is what "shootin' the breeze" looks like..... They (fire departments and such) also call my daddy "Booty" - weird.

Additional photo resources for your enjoyment :

Merry CHRISTmas Y'all!