The most hideous office supply EVER

Whilst strolling through the office supply store with my office companion I stumbled across quite possibly the most disturbing office supply / accessory EVER. Now, in order to actually purchase and wear this product you must quite honestly have a diagnosed mental disorder such as OCD or even worse. Clearly the Dial company is in need of some serious profit boosters in which they are targeting the OCD population. I consider this a health, retail, and more importantly fashion concern. Meet fashion's biggest mistake in office wear since the dreaded name badge/lanyard.

What is this madness? Purpose? To ruin any career oriented ensemble? Even if you work in a Dr.'s office, dentist office, or any public facility where germs quite possibly are a problem...you still have a desk right? A counter? A bathroom where you can wash your hands? There is no need to wear hand sanitizer as a daily accessory in order to fight germs. I draw the line at name badges. If lanyards are an absolute must, could you please not wear your health and sanitation practices as part of your outfit? Here is a close up.

Complete disgrace to the working population. It's like a reward for NOT washing your hands at work. Eww

Ok, I'm finished.