Shug in Boots here ...
As Ambareams HS BFF/sister in bloggin, I told her, YOU NEED TO WRITE A DANG POST!
Last week, I even came over here and vacuumed and got down the cob webs for her. So, today, she said this to me via FB:
And, so, since Ms. Amber is mega busy, and I have three weeks to sit around in my yoga pants, bloggin, drinkin my dunkin donuts coffee on the daily (thank you year round calendar - this IS NOT my regular lifestyle) ... here I am.
Through the process of my shower, makin grits n greens,
I have no children of my own (yet?) ... but, I see this cattiness starting among girls as young as kindergarten. By third grade - whoa! Eight year old girls CRYING because the other girls are making fun of the fact that her shoes came from Walmart! (Wonder how these kids would feel if they knew half Mrs. Davis's wardrobe came from thrift stores and Target). And no matter what we say, our little shug pies will learn what they SEE.
So, here's my two cents:
1) sometimes your friend may be acting like an ahemm.... beezy ... TELL HER SO. More than likely, she isn't aware of it, is stressed out and needs to vent about it, and could use your help.
2) Likewise, don't write your friends off when they tell you the same.
3) Just because your friend doesn't take YOUR advice and handle it the way YOU would does not justify you peacing out of her life. She still needs you.
4) Remember who was there for you when you needed them, it's sometimes easy to find new friends and forget about the old ones. Not cool. (I talk to elementary schoolers about this every week).
5) Point out your friends strong points, assets and awesome qualities - she could use it. I know I could everyday.
6) Always remember to save time for your friends. Too many of us get married, or even start dating someone, and suddenly have no time for our friends anymore. YOU WILL REGRET THIS. Same goes for kids. Your baby needs you - a nice, rejuvenated, happy you - SO MAKE TIME FOR YOUR GIRLS! Even if it's just a day together with some Diet Coke, hot dogs, and thrift stores.
7) Don't be a hater. It's easy to be jealous of how your friend's life seems. But again, who knows what all is goin on underneath - and WE ALL have our cross to bear. You just have to trust God's plan for YOUR life and this takes prayer, and lots of it.
8) Support your friend - even if you don't support her decision. She will thank you for it eventually, and at that same moment is most likely when she will need you the most.
9) I think it's important to love each other for who we are - our mothers, our daughters, our sisters, our friends - it's hard being a girl - am I skinny enough? Do I make enough money? Do people judge me for being a stay-at-home mom? Does my husband love me as much as her husband loves her? We all know these thoughts can consume us if we let them. The last thing we need is our own friends and fellow lady loved ones adding to our self-doubt. Your daughter/neice/granddaughter is paying attention when you question what she wears, how her make up looks, and virtually every other decision she makes.
10) Encourage your friend to make healthier choices, not just fast, easy ones that will make her skinnier, happier at the moment, put-a-bandaid-on-the-problem choices. She is probably overwhelmed enough that she could use your honest, but caring input.
Hope it didn't sound preachy. These are just things that I've learned over my 28 years. Good friends are hard to come by. And they won't be perfect. You won't either. Keep the ones who love you anyway.
And while I'm here, these are some of the things I love about Ms. Amber:
She's listened to me through MANY HOURS of analyzing my life.
She's ridden around with me in the middle of the night drinking WAY TOO MUCH Diet Mt. Dew (although her bevy of choice was either Diet Coke or Dr. Pepper)
She always remembers that little things make people smile - little notes, Christmas ornaments, birthday prizes - don't have to cost much, but she always remembers.
She does the "singing voice" with me and doesn't care when people are super annoyed and wish we would shut up.
It always feels comfy at her house - she is always baking, cleaning or making something. Always comforting even if I do nothing but sit there and watch. ;)
Most importantly, she prays for me in whatever need I may have - even if I don't know what that need is.
This could go on forever ... but ladies, let's help each other instead of knocking each other down. Hey, I've even stopped talkin trash about the shug pies at NC State tailgates who are dressed in red stilettos like they goin to a club. Hey, if this is how they show their team pride, who am I to judge?
Happy Tuesday Sugars!